I've never done that before geez but, you did say you are in the middle of feeling sadness---so maybe it'd be helpful for you to process as much of that sadness before you move forward...write that out...write out how it makes you feel, how she made you feel...maybe that would lead you into writing about what you want...because how can you know what you want if you don't know how you feel?? Although, I think what you did through your replying was kinda what I was talking about. just a suggestion.! the hardest thing sometimes in life, is realizing that we can't change people and some people never change...our source of empowerment has to come from the fact that we can change ourselves---into better, stronger, healthier, people...people interested in healing the innermost parts of us. sending lots of support your way --JAZZY