My life just gets stranger and stranger... My ex who I moved to Perth from Melbourne to get away from (not in a bad way, just that I was having a breakdown when the relationship ended) is now moving to Perth with his wife and kids...
This is my state! He's not allowed over here I know it's unlikely that I will run into him but still I hate it.
And a really wierd thing - I chose a name (if we ever had kids) when I was 16.. it was just made up.. Oaklee - last part being my middle name... and thats what they named their first little girl...

On to the other side of things.. am not sure if this in constructive thinking or what... Do I hold on to past relationships because it's a safety barrier? I held on to Mark right up until I felt something special for Louis.. and I didn't open my heart until I was sure that I felt something (and believed that there was feelings fully returned).. will I do the same thing now? am I doing the same thing now? I still miss him thats for sure..but I know that I miis the fact that I am not in a relationship and happy more than anything else.
There is a lot of guys that want to met me, get to know me - that has never been the issue.. the issue is me. I don't want to met them, I push them away with words like "I'm not ready", " I am still getting over my ex" and "I want to take things very very slowly".
Am I protecting myself or letting myself wallow in self pity?
Am I keeping my distance until I feel the spark.. love and the dream again?
How can I feel that when I refuse to go out and even have coffee with them?