thanks for the suggestion belle. couples counceling is not possible right now tho. he is in a different city going to college. the problem is more mine than his right now since I`m overloaded with stress and various personal issues. i got really scared about his SZ when i finally read about the condition a few months ago. so that fear adds to my stress. thats why im more interested in therepy for my self right now. it would help to sort out my own feelings, some of which have nothing to do with my relationship. then after i get help, then we could look into counceling together ifhe wants to go and if we have more problems. plus this morning he sent a pleasant email so it eases my worry a little bit. after reflecting on my own feelings a lot i feel like now i really need to fix myself then once i get my own stuff in order then the relationship might be better.