oh (((((split)))))) you have gotten a lot of different viewpoints from significant ppl in your life. i'm am so sorry.
one thing i do strongly suggest to ppl i sponsor is to do a page with
2 columns..one side is "assets" about self and the other, "liabilities" about self. it's an old school way that i really think helps the 4th stepper keep in full view the good things they acknowledge about themselves while doing a thorough inventory of the other as well...liabilities-which does include resentments- but also other actions we did in our using/drinking history we are not proud of.
that way the 4th stepper is not tearing themselves to shreds which can lead one to a drink but also to see in writing the good things about themselves that you want to keep. that keeps an objective outlook and perspective while doing the 4th.
so my opinion of your of your doc is not very high, just me. medical doctors are only required (!) to take a 3 hour course on addictions to obtain their M.D. clearly that's all your doc took! many docs take a more active interest in addictions and that is good. there are so many hurting ppl out there that need help.....the 12 step program has done for so many that until it was introduced ppl were given little hope to arrest this deadly disease. this is a tried and true method for those of us in recovery. i'm happy to hear you are not heeding that doc's advice. the 4 and 5th freed me from the bondage of my past!!!!!!!!!
it will do that for you too. i'm sure of it.
please know that i am here for you at pc in case you feel squirrelly or just want to send a pm. take it slow. i usually suggest one do their writing while they are fresh in the day. that way it's done til the next day and you will rest well at night. but of course follow your own sponsor's suggestions.
i've "seen" you grow so much and i've admired your desire to get this done and i
know you will. just sorry some who you seek for sound advice contradict the other. just keep your focus and don't give up...we can grow old in recovery together
.
wish i could give you a big AA hug irl but a pc hug is good too!!!