Thank you so much everyone...I'm so glad I found this website. I went to see a lawyer yesterday and I left feeling so good. I really thought that I would have to move myself and my son out of our house and into my parents apartment for a while, sell the house, and that I would responsible for all of our debt because everything is in my name and alot was accumulated when we were living together before we were married. And because my parents apartment is not particularly nice (there plenty of room but it needs alot of handy man work and is not aesthetically pleasing right now) I was worried that maybe he would end up geting our son (because the court would want him to stay in the home) just by refusing to move out himself. (My husband has said things to me like "if you want to start over and abandon your family go ahead but this is my home and I stay here and so does our son because that is in his best interest") I was also very afraid that he and his family (his parents being very well off) would do things just to run up attorneys fees to make them unmanagable for me. The lawyer was so nice telling me that he will not let them make trouble to get lawyer fees out of hand so that I feel have no choice but to give up things I'm entitled to (i.e child support) because they have more financial resources to keep the battle going. He said to me "I'll tell their lawyer straight out that I'll start waiving all my fees just on principle!!" I could have cried. He also said he would only charge me his services at the hourly rate his paralegal bills at (less than 1/2 his normal rate!!) So anyway he told me that I would certainly get the house, my son, a small amount of child support, and a small montly sum to pay 1/2 of our debt!! That is how the state would want to divide it he said!! Of course I would have to buy out my husbands portion of the equity in our home if I ever refinanced it or remarried and it will be tough to make the mortgage payments on my own but God...that I can really do this and not traumatize my son even more by having to move him at least twice (to my parents and then to an apartment) it's like a great weight lifted from my shoulders. I do fell guilty still though...I know I would not be happy with the scenario my lawyer painted if I were in his shoes (half the debt and a samll amount of support may be reasonable but he will hit the roof about my getting the house without having to pay him anything right away...and it's just much more than I expected and I feel a little guilty because law or no I myself would see it as unfair if the tables were turned...anyway I've got to get ready for work...but thanks everyone. I feel so much better about this whole thing now than I did a week ago