Hi there
Welcome to the forums, the first thing I thought right away when I read your post is, have you spoke to a therapist or counsellor about this? Even your GP can possibly refer you to one.
It can help, it is good also if you feel you would like to continue to come here to talk to others, the members and visitors are very warm and supportive.
I feel positive if you seek out a therapist/counsellor you will make some progress with this, maybe not a miracle but it can help, don't give up

Take care now,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON