I'm coming late to this thread so I think you've already gotten a lot of good thoughts. Glad you're writing a diary that has REALLY helped me. Hope the meds keep working!

I think alot of depression, in general (dunno for sure about you) is our perception of life, like you say. But it's also physical brain chemistry, our situation in life... all sorts of things. So I've found it best not to be hard on myself when it comes to that, but to try to change my perspective as best I can and remind myself that lots of it is coming from bad chemicals in the brain, or having been taught the wrong way through most of my life how to deal with things. Keep posting, I love your username btw =)