I am reading what you all are sharing and appriciate it much.
I am at work and can't cry - but it is right here with me - this lump.
I will get through it - it is just not fun.
My customers keep asking me what is wrong and I am trying to sound normal. One of them who has known me for 10 yrs now said "I never heard you sound like you do today - you sound like someone dropped an anvil on your heart."

Wow - I thought. That sorta sums it up.