The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my sanity and life. I feel it should be required reading for everyone on the planet. The statistics (global)are staggering: 1 in 3 women abused and every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted. Verbal abuse is usually always the precursor to the physical.

Some facts (I stayed for THIRTY-SIX YEARS); abusers are usually narcissists, and stop maturing at about age 12-13...they rarely change. They are excruciatingly INsecure. The premise of abuse is only one thing; CONTROL. Never, but never to into counseling with an abuser. They need to go alone and work on THIER issues before going as a couple. I made that mistake and it was a nightmare (before I read the book, and didn't know that). Remember this....abuse is a CHOICE...always a choice. If they "lost" their temper, etc.....they would abuse other people; they don't.....just do it in private. Make sure the therapist you see is SPECIFICALLY trained in verbal and physical abuse; believe it or not, some are not and you will become re-abused and confused. I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group; the names are different, but abusers are all the same, basically.