Today in group therapy we were discussing a topic that triggered me really badly. We were talking about stuff we were made to do as children...like confessing to doing something we didn't do like stealing or something of that nature...but I didn't think of that.

I immediately thought of an event from my young adulthood. I thought of when my boyfriend at the time held me down and forced me on a little girl. You don't know how much pain I've been through over this event unless you've been there. I've tried to kill myself over that event in my life. There is so much shame in the fact that I couldn't do anything to stop what happened.

I thought being triggered to this event was over...even the simplest, most innocent thing can trigger it. I hate it. I could've thought of something from my childhood but I didn't. I thought of the worst memory I have.