Whew - I couldnt handle what you are going through at all ! Makes me think of yesterday's "DrPhil Show" about "moochers" or "boomer rang" kids........the ones who leave and come back, leave and come back. He really gave the parents down the river for allowing it, saying it is a disservice to them to not ALLOW them to become independent productive "people". I had to LOVE his solution to one family's situation - 13 people in a trailer - 6 belonged there - the others were adult children, their spouses and kids who had come home AGAIN to live.......DrPhil had a moving van at their home while they were at the show - and moved the "moochers" out ! Shocked those kids ! LOL (He did supply a home for one month while they found places of their own). I happen to think Dr Phil is AWESOME in case you couldnt tell ! LOL

I agree with picking your battles when raising kids - but IMHO, this isnt a battle you should even have to deal with at all. They either need to pull their share of chores, cleaning, cooking, keeping THEIR pets cared for and cleaned up after - and not putting nasties in a trash can in your home ! Again, WHEW - I couldnt deal with that......any of it.