T said that after reading my mail and especially after listening to me describe how I felt about it, the word that popped into his mind was "violated." I feel like by having someone else invade my body, as it were, they're taking part of me I won't get back -- just slightly related to my abuse, ya think? It really became clear that was what it was all tied up in, as we talked. I have really strict boundaries about who touches me and how, and this feels like overstepping a boundary, even though it's for my good and not my detriment.

I dunno if that makes any sense, either.

Candy