Has it ever just hit you like a flood...all of the memories from sessions...all of the work you've done...all of the stories...its sent me into some type of dissociative state...where all I want is to run away from all the pain and all the emotions...I even want to run away from therapy because I know they are causing all of the painful emotions, if I wasn't in therapy...I wouldn't be feeling all of this...I might not even be thinking about it.

And most of all, I feel alone in it...no matter how many times I go out with friends, or spend time with family...actually I have started to do it more often...then usual...it doesn't matter if I'm with people...I feel like I've built this huge wall for my friends and family to knock down...since most of my friends came from my college---when I dropped out of college...I felt so ashamed....and people knew I was dealing with depression, so I know some rumors were probably floating around. So, I began to distance myself from people. Then my best-guy friend I trusted helped foster a unhealthy relationship, which separated me from another group of my friends. I feel like I do it less but, I still walk around carrying these feelings and thoughts of all of the bad things I have discussed in therapy around with me, subconsciously though...and feel like whenever people will try to get to know me, they will see those parts of me...because of that, I'm too ashamed to let anyone in...no matter how painful this wall I've built is...its not coming down...I feel alone and helpless tonight. and want to get rid of the pain by quitting therapy. but, i don't know.?