Hey Midnight_Soul...welcome back, we missed you. So much for you to have to deal with...I hope you find the peace you really deserve. Getting to see your children, even for a few days, is wonderful! I went through a similar situation with custody many years ago, and I learned to appreciate the moments I had with them. Hugs is right - suicide isn't the answer. There are too many people in this world who would have a big whole in their hearts if you weren't in their lives. Just try to remember that it is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Lots of hugs..