Quote:
Originally Posted by jenkins09
the marriage counselor is telling me things that my individual T hasn't brought up. Telling me I act like a victim.... I am now upset that my individual T has noticed this about me and has withheld saying anything to me.
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Perhaps your individual T does not see you as a victim and that is why he hasn't said it. Your marriage counselor and your other T can have different opinions and perspectives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jenkins09
Todays session was really hard. I had to discuss my childhood, and the abuse by my mom and dad, and it was very emotional. Its good because its going to force my to face my past and grow, but the process is hard. How do you get past seeing yourself as this screwed up individual? either way I welcome this new journey I am on..just needed to vent.
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Was this session with your individual T? I am curious why you
had to discuss those things? Do you feel you are not ready to discuss those topics? I think it helps me not see myself as defective by having my T not see me as defective. It's validating. It makes me feel like a normal human being. By being around him and his views about me, they can become internallized and my own views about myself can change. At least that's part of it. It's healing. I think if I had a T who was very critical of me all the time, and told me how I frequently messed up and did things wrong ("defectively"), then I would internalize even more the feeling of being defective. We want Ts to be straight with us, but yet, our lives are full of people who are willing to criticize us. It is nice to go see a T who provides something different than the negative people in our lives.
Good luck with the marriage counseling. What does your wife think of the counselor?