I came across this site when I googled ' adults with no friends'. I wanted to see if it was normal to have no friends as an adult and to talk about it maybe, and I don't know where to start.
To make the most of this, I think I will start from the beginning.

When I was growing up, I was the most bubbliest and bubbliest person ever. When I turned 14, my parents started to put a lot of pressure on my looks. They used to tell me I'm ugly a few times a day. This eventually got to me, and I stoped speaking to everyone. Literally. I went from being popular girl/ class clown to just nobody.

After leaving sschool, I made a few friends here and there but never really kept in touch with any of them.

Anyways a decade later, I decided it's time I changed and added up all my friends from school. met them etc. My life was going great and I was really happy. Not only did I chat with my friends, but I also used to chat with my friends friends on facebook. Anyway, one of my close friend went overseas one day and one of her friends came to me for advice. I've never met this guy in real life before and have only spoken to him on facebook. He said as our mutual friend is overseas he'd speak to me about his problems. He said he was feeling really depressed and all so I went to his place to comfort him.

He said he'd like a drink and offered me one. I don't remember much of what happened after that 1 drink but I do know both him and his brother raped me.

I was so scared and petrified. I felt so....I don't know how to describe it. I went to my friends for help but none of them would even believe me. Some of them even laughed. A few weeks later, I went to the cops but they said there was no physical evidence and they'd need to talk to ppl I spoke to. My bf at the time was the only one I knew, so I asked him to come with me to the cops but he refused.

From that day on, I have not spoken to a single person. It's been two years since I have not spoken to a human other than family. I've been on a few dates but I just end up getting scared of what they will do to me.
Being raped also triggered memories of me being molested by my neighbour when I was 6. It brings back memories of my mother beating me up when I was young, brings back memories of me trying to kill myself when I was 11 because I hated life so much even though I was miss popular.

I keep myself busy 24/7 so I don't think about how lonely I am, but at times when I have nothing to do, I just feel like dying. So yeah, that's it I think. I don't know how I can make friends anymore as I really don't have the oppourtunity to do so. I also wish I could just take away my mums voice from my head constantly telling me I'm ugly.

Oh I just remembered, I'm soo pathetic that my brother told me that I'ma loner and that when I kill myself he will laugh.