I just had this converstaion with my pdoc and T too. I really do feel for you. The mind plays tricks on all of us and Moreta, T and pdoc recommended writing out the thoughts but then going back and putting whether or not there is fact behind it to support it, not necessarily feeling. I am really good at making the feelings turn into facts. After I did this day before yesterday and then again yesterday I relooked at it; I was able to gain a different perspective, once it was out of my head. Perhaps it might help you too.

If you do quit your meds, as opposed to adjusting them, don't do it cold. That really will do more harm than good. But maybe an adjustment or fine tuning is in order instead. Going back to nothing, is even more painful and disruptive for you and your family. As I found out recently, some things I had forgotten about this, the full scope of the illness I did not remember so going back to it full force untreated would be worse than adjusting for the current symptoms. We were able to do some serious tweeking and things are slowly getting better. Talk to them. Granted they should not have made any promises due to the nature of this, meds or not, but they are there to help. Really.

You are NOT a bad mother for getting upset and having a panic attack. It actually showed you were distressed over the situation and that you cared. You got her to treatment and all combined is what is important. Remember that.

No matter what you decide, there is help, be sure to use it. You are not alone. Hang in there.