Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. From what you wrote, I can expect that you certainly left a whole lot out. I believe my decision of how to handle is the same as you reasoned chose.

You mentioned that you wrote the letter; something I've thought of doing also. I refrain from doing for several reasons. I guess because i feel silly at my age and being a man; the thought of how petty I'll be viewed should they get cancer next month and have a stroke etc....

Although, I don't visit and participate in the family circle anymore, I do email my mom once monthly and only talk about the positive things going on in my life. I don't focus of their end, my brother or sister, or talk about all their abuse and trespass. I'm lucky to get back a reply on one in five. I don't do it for a reply though, only to save them from painting themselves into a corner and becoming yet another road block to change. If I didn't articulate that clearly, I suppose I recognize that once people establish a hard baseline in a relationship, it's hard for some to then come away from it because they may feel embarrassed or they may have to admit they were wrong. I leave the door slightly open but I can't be the one to walk through it anymore because all I'll be doing is enabling the pattern.