I am SO miserable. I just need a place to vent.

I'm not even sure what it is. I kind of think there was this BIG PUSH through October....I was really geared up for it, I knew that it might be hard, I planned lots of positive stuff, I let myself be open to the lessons that came my way, I shared my secret with T.

Now it's November. I am so so so so so so so so sad and upset and angry. I almost can't function. I am dragging myself through the day, because I have to. I just want to go away forever.

Maybe these are the feelings I was pushing away in October. I don't know.

T is out of town, my two best friends went out of town together for the weekend (I have an obligation here so I couldn't go), H is in angry mode, I feel really really really alone.

I am disappointed in myself for how I feel. I wish I could just disappear.