he was in jail. he was booked with a FELONY ADW (GBI) and False Imprisonment on 9/9/10. Released on 9/13/10. Long story short, my wish was not to prosecute and DDA agreed. Investigator and Deputy weren't too happy about that.

Felt he's life was messed up enough as it was. I didn't want that over my head nor did I want (if he ever succeeded) his suicide over my head (one of the reasons I found myself ... back with him throughout the @ 2.5 years.

That's shocking in itself ... I allowed this to go on for so long. Even though I knew only a couple months in and ended then the first time. HOW did this happen? I even sent him articles, we had talks and arguments alike ... about his "normalcy" or rather the lack of one??

We are not together. We are not communicating ... directly anyway. My contact to him were my various emails on HOW could you and my thoughts on it along with articles, info on sites, and books as a guide. Though no one, rather you have a disorder or not, want to hear something ... negative.

The last contact was leaving him with the book Angry Hearts, parts highlighted, pages marked, comments on various paragraphs and note in the sleeves. This was early last week.

Since then he's tried to tell me messages with
and he actually showed up at an event past Saturday night knowing I would be there. It was ... surprising. WHY would he do that? Why not do something else, with the new girl and that group?

Something else I do not understand / get ...

3 people know for a fact he was in jail for what he did.
1 - the girl, after what she said, help him get out KNOWING he was in jail for choking me, etc ... how dare she say such a thing? What the?? Then to continue on with him. She has issues of her own. Out of a 8.5 year abusive relationship where, according to her own words, her ex threatened to kill her and cheated on her right in front of her??
2 - a female friend who knew of our relationship and the trust struggles, she was shocked he did what he did and didn't want to believe it though he told her as he called her when he was released for a ride home. She spoke with him and said to me, he's not like that ... to apology ... and that he loves me and that he can't ever talk w/ me b/c of the RO (didn't get one)
3 - a male friend who also knew the dynamics of our relationship. These two he wanted me to speak with so they can hear my side of our issues instead of just his. Nice of him eh? Anyway, he said if he was here he'd beat him up for me. Who said to me, at least twice, he's obsessed. Though he too also said No Contact. Which i will not.

Yet all these people, one actually having read the police report. He too said "Honestly [my name] he still loves you". After him saying he'll beat him up for me if he was here for doing that to me. He was also shocked he laid his hands me that way. And that he thinks he might be bi-polar, etc ...

What the? You know what he did to me and you two still say these to me ... what's that supposed to mean? HOW in the world am I supposed to ... process that when I'm struggling with the fact that he hurt like that. What, is that supposed to make me feel better somehow?

Talk about confusion. And why the heck are they ... supportive of him, so it seems?
Is he telling them something to believe in his world of made-up whatever to fit him?
Or are friends and some family so devoted to being and supporting their friend no matter what?

That's awful ... considering what he did to me. Lot of people say draw the line a physical abuse. There is no excuse for ever doing such an act. Disorder or NOT.

An I'm also hurt by the fact that he can't return my things. That was for us ... this hurts and sickens me he'd keep them and to think they either have or will be used with someone else.

You'd think it's also a simple thing ... you were physically abused, disorder or not, you have nothing to do with that person. WHY is it so dang hard then? Why did this happen to me? Karma? b/c I betrayed my ... best friend of 20 years b/c of this man ... so i deserved what I got?



this again his attempt to say something to me with his Yahoo status (he sent me a Connection request??)

Quote:

11/3/10 @ 11:30AM u don’t understand how i feel

Of course I don't understand how he feels ... but why is that an important thing to try and convey to me? And nothing of sorry?

I've done what I can to ... lead him / guide him with the information. At least, for myself, I can know that I did something rather then nothing at all. You know?

... my outside support ... guess are in these forums support sites. These things aren't something I really want to talk with too many other people we know.

What's hard is ... never saw it coming. He was ... amazing otherwise. BUT to accept that all the good was a possibly a lie or not the full truth is HARD too.
YES, in ways, I'm "addicted" to those "good" things I guess? I'm feeling obsessive and seems like I have some mental disorder myself.

Thank you.