thanks guys..i had huge cry yesterday. my ex-MIL would have been 80 and neither of them got to see Stella. and Stella is two today. i miss her so much. i want to talk to her and daddy. especially daddy. i have life questions that no one but parents can answer. our early life together was really, really rough, but things smoothed out as they became dependent upon their children. i appreciated those years. we could talk and laugh and cry together. i remember asking my mom if she wanted to die. she had had five strokes. she couldn't talk. she nodded yes. so, i started naming the people she would see. and lo and behold, she started saying names....it was miraculous. so for two hours, she and i sat and named off everyone who was gone and we laughed and we cried and i held her...three weeks later she died. she had permission to go.