Hi jenkins09,

Glad you both have sought out counseling. These are just some of my opinions, feel free to dismiss if they are not helpful... I hope you and your wife will take some time to talk about whether this is the right person. I mean, it does take work but you also shouldn't have to feel shaken up each time (you have a say as to what the pace looks like). It should be a safe place for both of you. That being said, if you do feel like this counselor is working out well then by all means be direct and say if you are feeling bullied or over powered. You wrote that you "had" to discuss your childhood. But you shouldn't have to feel pressured into it, you know? I just think it is impotant to look at the distribution of "power" or "say." It should be divided equally among all 3 of you so that you and your wife both feel safe to speak and listen.