ahh, MUE. I am so with you! I was listening to a song this morning and part of the lyrics are "I feel like I'm slowly, slowly, slowly slipping under" and I had to pull over in my car and cry, because that's how I feel. Suuuuuuuuper slooooooooow mo drift back down into the dark. So slow, but still unstoppable.

I called my T today and told her I'm really, really depressed. She said it's ok, to let it be. That scares me. I spent a lot of years deeply depressed. I don't want to go back there. I told her I don't know WHY I'm depressed, and again she said that's okay. Sigh. She was right but it wasn't what I wanted to hear I guess.

Plus she was laughing when she answered the phone, and pushed me off after 3 minutes, so I feel like I interrupted her in the middle of something fun and she was like, "wtf? Why are you calling to tell me you're depressed? Whatever." I mean, that's the story I made up in my head about the phone calll, not that that's what she actually said. That's what I'm imagining she was saying in HER head, lol!