Thank you all for being pocket riders :-) It is so awesome to have you guys "on my side" with this stuff.

An hour before session, I got very mad again at T and did NOT want to go see him. I would not have gone had he not told me he put me down to see him. It is strange because it was his idea this time (I am usually the one asking for multiple sessions). It kinda was my idea because I said "what about later this week" at the end of Wed session - but then he was the one who made room to see me. I was so out of it on Wed session that I would not have made a direct request. So this was another case of T picking up that I did need him - and him making extra sure I had access to him.

So I went. And T had the stuffed animals in a cute basket in his office :-) I felt much better after sitting down with him and seeing those there. It clicked something over again that made me trust my trusting T - it was like I said "See! You were right to keep trusting T through the change!" Because this time, even though I was upset about the location change, I never lost trust in my T. I never felt betrayed or let down. I was mad at the universe - but I kinda stay mad at the whole universe anyway!! LOL. But that is one of the reasons I am in therapy!

Because I didn't act emotionally on my feelings (I didn't emotionally reject T - even though I was totally rejecting his office space), and I didn't act out physically too much on the pain (that was DEEP DEEP pain Wed night), well it proved to me that I can be different from my parents. I am trying to be more like what I see from my T - the ability to emotionally have feelings without fear of acting out in a way that harms myself or others.

It was very cool that I was just able to sit down today with T and kinda chit chat about all of this and about some things about the new space that I picked up on. I didn't do any trauma work (which I couldn't have handled it anyway after Wed!) so conversation stayed a bit lighter than normal sessions. I really needed to just go into there - and yes, that took courage so I give myself a point for that! - but I needed to go right back into his office and just be there with T in a safe way so I could feel that connection again. I still need it, so that is what he gave me back.

Oh and he let me put my Citrine on his shelf :-) My Little One part wanted to put the crystal (Rock Person) behind his pictures on his shelf... We are bonded to that crystal in energy and so now I get to be in my SAFE PLACE (In T's office space) anytime we need to go there!!! And it is hidden so he is protecting us from others. So it is now like the evil office from Wed is now my SUPER SAFE PLACE because I know T controls his space and so I can go there anytime in energy and just hide from the monsters if I need to.

I was safe at the old office, but it still had other people inside T's space so he couldn't lock down his space tight enough. Now he has it all super locked down :-)
I always wanted a super duper safe place like that!!! So now one of my wishes from very early childhood has come true!!!!

Told you I got the bestest T in the whole wide world!!!!! :-)