Was watching a show last night (private practice) where a main character was raped and it has badly triggered memories of my own sexual assault (touched not raped) and worst of all I watched knowing what the episode was about.

I've never properly dealt with my feelings from 7 years ago (I was 15). I feel because he only touched me (down my pants, and in my bra) that it doesn't count as being real.

I just stuff the feelings down until something brings them up then I stuff them back down again. I only ever told 1 horrible therapist and my boyfriend and some online places, never a real friend (besides boyfriend).

Why did I watch it? Why didn't I fight back? Why did I only say no? Why do I have to see him every week at church (still live at home).

thanks for listening