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(JD) · Nov 06, 2010, 03:22 AM

I'm sorry that mourning can take so long.

What you describe, however, is so often the case, especially with families.

Please be gentle with yourself. We all can have "regrets" and go through the "I should have..." and "what if"... but when we come right down to the truth, we did the best we could at the time. The illness/death of a loved one, or even one in family that might not be so endearing, causes great stress. Everyone reacts or responds to stress in her own way. Don't blame your siblings and don't blame yourself.

I'm sure you did your best. And that's not compared to your best of all time in a good situation... that's your best for the situation at that time. I doubt you sat around saying, well my best is thus and so but I'm not going to do that... if you could have done it better, you would have. I think your mom knows that too.

Try and celebrate her life with good memories.