jazzy, I understand how you feel, I've felt the same way to myself, but I think the only difference is I knew T didnt make me do anything, she offered to help me and that meant being there willing to sit with me when I cried reliving painful things, she didnt sadistically bring me into her office plant painful memories and then enjoy me cry knowing she would abandon me later when I needed her for support. These painful memories are in us, we just decided to face them and choose therapy to do that, tears would come with any therapist that we had gotten, so its not just this therapist that is doing this too you.

Yes she may well be busy on a friday night, but alongside caring for us, they also have a duty to themselves so they can continue to be there for us and that may mean not disturbing what they are doing outside hours to run straight to our emails, and perhaps thats not what we really need anyways? perhaps they need to do when they genuinely feel its right for them that way the genuiness of the reply seeps through to us and teachs us what being real is really about, sometimes being less then perfect but modelling a healthier way of being instead of the old codependent way of being most of us were raised in? Thats not taking away your pain around this because I have had it too but learnt now that T will reply when its right too and that actually makes me feel more secure, or else the next worry would be that we feel we are draining them if they were to be there constantly for us?