((((((SI))))) you know aa has that saying, "better you than me." i used to think that was unkind but what it really means "but for the grace of god go i". know this was definitely a sad story to hear. but it can keep your eyes in the right direction. only 10 in 100 ppl stay sober. it's a sad statistic. you have shown me that you desire to stay sober more than to drink. i know sometimes in early sobriety or when we have a history of relapse it's scary. but my sponsor once said to me when i asked her why she hadn't fired me long ago, she said, "because you have the desire to get/stay sober." that defines you too.
splitimage, do you absolutely need to get a job right now? i'm wondering bout that cause it can stress u out especially with the depressed job market.
glad u're looking forward to your meeting. just stay the course as you have. as for feeling like you want to drink to relieve the stress, how bout sharing that at the meeting? it will let others know you are struggling some and will disperse the urge. don't know why that works but it does. my sponsor told me one time, "well how are ppl going to know you are struggling unless you share that?" makes sense. so i did many times. put my ego in my pocket and spoke up.
hope maybe something i say here will help you. also let us know re the job thing. maybe we can give you productive ideas re this.