hi dogbliss and welcome to PC! You've come to a great place for support and understanding.

This sounds a whole lot deeper than his birthday issue to me. It truly does. Usually when hubby of 18 yrs flips out and throws me for a loop, it later comes out what the REAL issue is. It's usually something that I've been doing that's upset him and neglected his feelings about for quite some time. Could something like that be going on? For instance, his requests of you haven't been seen by you as being as important as they are to him and he reaching "that point"?

I think the really important thing is trying to repair such an important and special freindship if it's at all possible.

If I found there was no chance for repair, I would certainly consult an attorney for, at the least, advice.

I wish you more than well and hope you keep us updated.

KD