Hi Anderson,
There a couple great things that I observed in your story 1. The desire to go to church and 2. That the Pastor is an upright person. I have been going to church for the past six years, it was a culture shock for me, I have always been a loner growing up and wanted little to do with social settings (years of childhood abuse and decades of depression got me there) What I have learned from my whole church experience is that....it is really a hospital, full of broken, damaged people. Some try to cover up their dirt more than others. but at the end of the day, I've learned to never loose the focus as to why I'm there. It is to build a relationship with God, To know that there is healing for all my afflictions through the blood of Christ. We all have to stand before God one day to be judged. As painful as it may seem to see those that have hurt you act as though nothing has happened and they may sometimes act holier than thou. Forgive them!!! Put all your focuss on God. Mankind does not possess a heaven or hell to put you in, so on that note stop giving you power to man. Seek your refuge in God and God alone. Don't allow man to ruin where you will reside eternally.