I'm sorry you're going through this and welcome to PC. Since your wife seems to be controlling you, putting you down, expecting you to cook/do your own ironing and threatening to leave - I don't see where you're the bully. How old are your kids?

You both need to sit down together and nicely discuss whether you both want to be in this relationship - if you do, then maybe you can both can get into relationship counseling. You can also look up 'fight fairly' websites but you both need to be willing to use the tips.

If you both don't want to be together - she can't just take all your money - that's a threat. In that case you need a good lawyer so you can assert your rights as a father and disperse your assets fairly. It's sounds to me like she's taking advantage of you.