I had a similar discussion with my t. I was feeling like I needed to test him and see if he would be vulnerable with me before I opened up about all the dark secrets of my past so I asked him to tell me the time that he was the most afraid in his life. I also asked him about the saddest thing that had ever happened to him and he gave me a bogus answer about a time that his son had cut his hand and needed stitches.

Well let's just say in a nutshell he really failed that test. I told him so after the fact as well. It was either he is really not being truthful with me or we come from two different worlds. I told him that and there was no way he could ever understand me. He gave me the whole cancer/doctor metaphor and I was like yah yah. So eventually he challanged me by asking me if it was going to work out for me to have him as my t since he hadn't been abused or ya know... or had any near death experiences and I said I don't know. So he asked me to think about it for a while and this is what I eventually came up with.

He doesn't have any life experiences that even remotely shaddow mine and I still have a strong sense of isolation. I am the only one. However, he is trained to be a helper for me to navigate life. He is sometimes the only stability I have every week. He has empathy and attunement down to an art. Some of it he was taught during his training and others are his God given attributes that come naturally. If he did have a past that mirrored mine he might not be in any shape mentally to provide me the the guidance that I need.

He does recognize the sense of isolation that I have and has been trying to help me find others that I can relate to but we have been having a tough time coming up with something in my county. I went to a sexual abuse survivor group that he recommmended and I was the only one who showed up. Talk about demoralizing.

Interesting debate I agree. Very thought provoking indeed. Good Post!