I know how you feel. I feel like my problems are more a burden upon my Dad than anything else, but I struggle with it on my own a lot of the times and wish for his help. It's good that you're at least opening yourself up here: where are people who can help, understand and support you. Getting those feelings out there is the first step!

No one deserves any kind of abuse, no matter who you are. The aggression and hostility, I've feel around my brother and lots of other people, have caused me to believe I deserve a lot of the things that go wrong.. But you have to think; do you really intend on being that way, just to watch your brothers hurt or is it just something you have a hard time controlling?