boodles, try not to worry about labels. some people find them helpful to get a handle on what they are grappling with and others feel stigmatized by them. so, if they are starting to overwhelm you feel free to throw them out. you're still you and you do have redeeming values. here is a brief description of a couple different types of codependency.

i come from a pretty dysfunctional family of origin as well. i spent about 6 years in adult children of alcoholics even though i'm not from an alcoholic family. aca has a lot of good info on family dynamics. you may find this description of the various roles that family members take on to be helpful. i found it to be a real eye opener. people can take on more than one role too.

it sounds like you are in a really painful place but one where you are now willing to make changes. while it may seem like the door of your family life has completely closed it may be that you will now find a different door opening--one where healthier relationships are possible. this isn't an ending but a new beginning.