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Nov 06, 2010, 11:26 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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 Hello, (((lynn P.)))! This is a good one - I struggle with this, too, especially where my abusive "family" members are concerned....Grrrr.
However, growing up in the southern Bible Belt, we were always taught to "hate the sin, but love the sinner." Whether in a faith-based or logical context, this makes sense - to separate the acts from the actors. To maintain our respect and compassion for the dignity and flaws of our fellow humans - to condemn hateful acts as such, but make allowance (forgiveness) for those who have not yet matured or become "enlightened" enough to know better.
Further, putting this principle into practice with others reminds us to afford ourselves the same respect and compassion for our own dignity and human flaws whenever we commit such errors, and to refrain from self-condemnation which is just as counterproductive as condemning others for their mistakes. We must acknowledge and take responsibility for our mistakes (and hope that others will do the same), but we must also allow ourselves to move beyond and learn from our mistakes so that we can become wiser and better people - and give others the same opportunity.
I readily confess that all too often this, for me, is easier said than done.  lynn09
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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