Hi trippin! first, I'm so sorry you are feeling so badly, so I'll warn ya' my post has two parts, if you are feeling strong, read it through, if not, read this part, skipp the middle, and read the last paragraph, save the middle for later

Two months, eh? At two months on any meds, I'm still walking wounded. The meds really haven't been put up to the amounts that are "therapeutically " effective, meaning the levels that studies show make the meds do what they are supposed to do. Even then, as a lot of posters have said, they don't always work right FOR YOU! This means tweaking, taking a little away, adding a little, etc. In addition, a lot of meds in the beginning do two very important things: they help us SLEEP, and they give us HOPE. Sleep helps us handle the day to day stuff better, but this is an effect that many meds have only as a side effect, and most are kind of happy to lose it. They simply make us tired. Still, it helps. Hope changes how we think about us and our situation and it is NOT a delusion or a placebo. It is what we need to handle our illness/syndrom/condition. It's what everyone needs to keep living.

A lot of what you are saying sounds like you are heading down. This will strongly effect how you see your self (bad mom) your meds (bad meds) and your doctors (bad doc). Personally, I don't think he should have promised you anything, this bipolar crap is no smoothe ride. I am so sorry you are hurrting so much. If I could and I didn't have this blasted cold I would reach right through and give you a big hug and tell you that yeah, this sucks. But you know, it will pass. It will get better, you are a good mother and you are doing your best, otherwise, you wouldn't be here. hang in there. HUGGGGGSSSSSSSSSS. Stick with it. Eventually, it will start working.