Depressions stories. Jeeze. My dad says mine starts before i can remember it. Therer are pictures of a tiny little girl with red eyes and thumb in her mouth and her blankey with an angry tear-stained face, and my dad said that I could be that way for days when i was that age... two or three! Even weeks, says a teacher i knew. They thought I just had a bad temprament. So it goes. fourteen, I startedd talking siucide, tried it, my depression started taking a nocutrnal pattern, restless, rages, hairpulling, I had had rages and been a know it all in periods earlier, this got worse, but it was only later that instead of whispering "BPD" one of my teachers in the psychology program walked up to me and said out loud, more or less - Honey, you're Hypomanic now, get evaluated, because what I've been seing for 35 weeks is NOT personality."
There. Several suicidal attempts, interrupted, and countless months and years of hell for me and my loved ones later. for ten years or so I have been doing relatively well. Not saying much, but there you go.
I think you are making some very, very good decisions there. It's scary, but youare taking the bull by the horns and getting help on your own and that is very, very important. HUUUUUGGGGGSSSS and deep respect!