Thanks everybody - I guess I'm especially scared because I do have a history of relapsing. Yesterday - Nov. 6 was 4 months sober for me. That's the longest I've managed since completing rehab in summer 09.

Madisgram - I wish I didn't need to job hunt but I do. I lost my job at the end of June, then spent July recovering from the car crash and Aug. to Mid Sept. in the psych hospital. All of that was necessary but I feel like it put me behind in terms of job hunting. I've made it to final cadidate stage on one job, and I'm expecting to hear from them on Mon. as to whether or not I got it. I'm afraid I may have shot myself in the foot because I told the owner that I had a commitment every Tues. morning that meant I wouldn't be able to start until 11:30 but that I'd make up the hours during the week. That's so I can stay in aftercare at my hospital. Now I'm thinking I shouldn't have raised it until after they made me an offer.

I have another interview with a recruiter coming up Wed. morning about a couple of analyst jobs that I might be suitable for, in case the controller's job doesn't come through.

Financially, I've been really careful with my severence money so I'm ok through Jan. plus in Dec. I become eligible for unemployment insurance but that's not very much money. If I start using my savings, I'll be ok through March before I have to start dipping into my RRSP's (CDN equivalent of 401K). But my supplemental health insurance from work runs out at the end of Dec. and we don't have anything like COBRA that would let me continue it, and my meds are $800 / month. I could stop taking one med and it would go down to $400 / month which is more manageable but still expensive. So yeah I do need to be job hunting.

Most days I'm ok, but occassionally I get really spinny with stress over job hunting, and then I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I'll be ok, as long as I don't drink.