well,he was going to plead guilty until the police told him the offense is inditable(?)then he said not guilty..he is a coward..i had to go to court to testify to keep him in lockup till trial,,but ended up not testifying, he took a bargain and he is on house arrest until then,,nov.25th..he admitted grabbing me but said I attacked him,also said other bad things about me,the police tell me every guy says that..i have never been to court and i am scared,,the police are always busy,,i am afraid of looking bad to the courts..i have still been staying at the shelter and have to find another apartment..my childrens lives have been turned upside down,,i will be strong and move forward..my emotions are all over the place..not for him,,for my life..its hard to be sure of the proper moves to keep safe and bring happiness to my children,,i feel so guilty for being with this man for so long..he is a monster..the police tell me they are trying to get him sentenced to a mental health prison(?)..forced treatment..i hope i never have to see this man again when this is over.....but what am i suppose to tell my baby about his father when he is old enough to ask?..everyone tells me to only concentrate on the now..i am trying..this will only make me stronger so they say..thank you for caring and once this is over i will be a better friend to everyone..xoxo..my thoughts are scattered..sorry