Quote:
in my head i feel that i need to drink to have a good time, and i do love having a good time
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Hello, widgets. It seems you are saying a good time means getting drunk, arguing with friends, sleeping with a stranger, self-harming and and becoming suicidal? What do you think a bad time is?
My thought is you would benefit from a physical and a comprehensive evaluation to determine if you have any physical or mental conditions requiring treatment, including alcoholism.
You might also wish to redefine what you mean by a "good time."
Be well.