Sometimes, i do actually have fun while i drink every now and then, but its getting less and less often, i have had this problem since i was 14 and i am now 20, i have tried to commit suicide while drunk around 10 times. I forgot to mention i also have Bipolar.
I know i have a problem with alcohol and its affect on me isnt right, i never pass out after too much alcohol, i just go crazy!!
If i never drink again, then it basically feels like there will be no point to my life.
And i know thats not right, needing alcohol to have a point to my life, but i dont know which is more important to me, alcohol, or not having to have alcohol.
I feel that if i went to an AA meeting, it would make me feel worse rather than better, the thought of knowing i could NEVER drink again would be so horrific for me.
I think this is a case of, you need to accept it before you can change it. I dont know whether i will ever be able to accept it.

But do you have any tips on things to do instead of drinking when all my friends will be out drinking!