Not all marriage counselors are competent. The soda thing would bother me too. (As would the name-calling -- I mean her saying that you have a chip on your shoulder and are acting like a victim.)

Does your wife also have reservations about this counselor? (You mentioned that the counselor was forcing an interpretation about her father's behavior on her.) (And in the first session!!!!)

Anyway, if you and your wife both have problems with this person, I agree that you two should consider looking for someone else.

-Far