I think after reading your posts you are actually quite effective at describing your symptoms. Perhaps your not good at voicing them, maybe you don't know what to say or how to say it. Have you ever considered writing a letter or post just like you have done here and bringing that to a doctor? Ask that he refure you to a pdoc. Start that session with handing the doctor the letter/post and saying i have a hard time voicing whats been going on so here it is. I'm not a doctor but i can tell you some of your symptoms are like a mirror of some of my own, and i have bi-polar and i could not have even hoped to get better without some psychiatric help, and i am certain that it will be the same for you. There are good doctors and bad ones, don't paint them all with the same brush, while it's unfortunate that you haven't had good experiences with the ones you have seen, try to realize that it really is in your own best interest to try again to find someone who can help. It wont be easy but i can assure you getting help with be worth it!