((((((((((beautifuldisaster))))))))))))

I feel that way ALL THE TIME. Holidays, family gatherings, parties, whatever ... For some reason I can't really get in the right mood and I just have to fake it. It's incredibly tiring. I'm not sure why it happens but try not to beat yourself up about it. You gave your daughter what sounds like an excellent birthday! You did that DESPITE your depression. That's a HUGE triumph, and I'm sure your daughter appreciates you being there for her on her big day.