It has been three years since I lost my son. It has begun to get a little easier now. I can tell you that everyone may seem to be "moving on" but that means their pain is just moving "in." We all grieve in different ways. I couldn't work. My husband couldn't not work. I stopped functioning, he went in to hyperdrive. I went into hospital. He went into work every morning at 5.45am. But then he came home to an empty house and shouted and cried and fell apart every afternoon. He didn't tell me this until much later. He is often home over an hour before me and it is his hardest hour of the day. For me it is the morning ... alone in the house.

It took me a year or more to be able to go to our regular grocery store. I kept imagining my son with me and I kept wanting to buy the things he loved. You have a long road ahead of you, try not to let what other people say ab out how you should grieve pull you down. Give yourself the gift of time and make sure you get lots of support...particularly from others who have lost children. I recommend a support group like Compassionate Friends which is just for parents who have lost children. In our local group there are people there who attend every month and have been doing so for years. There is no time line for grief, especially when you lose a child. You don't have to do it like anyone else or according to the same schedule as anyone else.

Be gentle with yourself.

Mona