Hi ddfk,

It sounds like a good idea that you got away from them. These patterns of abuse or lying get passed on and it sounds like your siblings share some of the patterns. It is very difficult to want to be close to your family (who wouldn't want to be?) but to be forever hurt and put down by them. You said in the end of your post that you wished to adopt a family... well IMhO that is what you should try to do... I had a very wise therapist say to me once that when we are children we must look to our parents for help, survival or acceptance. But, once we are adults we can look elsewhere. We are grown and can choose those (friends of all ages) who will support us and give us stregth, love and appreciation. But I do know it is difficult to move away from finding these things in your family (I struggle with that too). I just always imagine that things might go differently. But I am forever set up... they never really do. I would stop providing for them. Instead, maybe seek out others who do appreciate you for who you are and donate your time, money or energy to those will really appreciate it, like a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter. In essence, adopt others into your new family...
Sending supportive thoughts your way.

E