Hi Midnight Soul,
It's not too late.....it may not be of any consolation, but in all of your hardships, think of your middle child...not that I'm saying to prefer this child over the others, God has a way of sending us kisses when all seem lost. I know what it's like to feel like you're losing everything, and that there is no way out (that is a lie that the enemy wishes for you to believe) The fact that I'm typing this to you...is my proof of Gods rescueing power when all seem lost...PLEASE HOLD ON!!! The answer is in the picture that you posted below your entry. You can read my testimony "my forty days" in my site. I pray that it brings encouragement to you. HOLD ON! PS. You're NOT A MESS !!, it's a test.