I only don't drink whatever day "today" is. And in my case plan a drink.

Never "forever". Because "today" is all I've got & all I'll ever have.

I used to leave months between binges. I was planning another binge even if I hadn't put a date to it.

Your description of the results is what I experienced every time in a nutshell. Thank you for reminding me so succinctly.

The blackouts will come too, in time.

This is now the seventh time I am not planning another binge, a day at a time.

The economic and social damage increased exponentially every time I went back to it. Next time, legal trouble will come very big time (having held back unusually hitherto) & also the remains of my health mental & physical willl be destroyed.