Tomi, have you read "The Emotional Incest Syndrome" by Patricia Love? It explained a lot for me. BTW, one of the things that I learned from that book is that parents probably aren't setting out to violate their children's boundaries. Sometimes it's more a matter of treating your child like a best friend rather than being more like a parent with them.

Let me see if I can remember your questions. BTW, I havent been diagnosed as borderline, but I think I am borderline and T is trying to save me the stigma. Anyway, I was an extremely compliant child. I'm not sure that I was enmeshed with either of my parents, but several of my siblings definitely were/are.

Rap