Now you may have seen my previous post about a little bit of head banging, i feel awful about doing that.
But i want to talk about cutting, i cut myself from the age of 13 to 19 and havent done it now for 9 months, i have been this long before, but considering my depression has been very bad during the last nine months, its the best i have ever done.
Cutting for me is about releasing tension, and for some reason it gives me a buzz and an adrenaline rush when i am very low. But for someone who hates themself like i do, the guilt, shames and regret make that mometary high completely not worth it.
Headbanging is something i do when i am angry, which isnt very often, its not really a concern for me, i did it i regretted it, i'm not planning on doing it again.
Where as i battle the urge to cut, and at the moment i am winning.
I just want to let you know that the pride i feel for not doing this, has helped me no end, i hope this helps someone.
I dont want people to hurt themselves.
Even though i know its possible for you to stop, i just WISH i knew the right words to make it happen, but i know deep down that and you will too, that its only the words you say to yourself that can stop you..
I hope you find the strength! You may be surprised at how you feel for NOT doing it!